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Archive for July, 2009

Makena, Maui – Home to a future Ringing Cedars kin domains settlement – focused on conscious birth

Aloha all! Today is the day I have chosen to articulate the vision for a future Ringing Cedars settlement on Maui. This settlement, which will be brought forth in the very near future, will consist of a large area, several hundred acres around, located on the south side of the island of Maui, previously referred to as the Honua’ula district. This area will comprise an entire territory (an “ahupua’a”) which runs from the top of Haleakala mountain down to the sea, and across the ocean to the islands of Kaho’olawe and Molokini. This territory will be governed by a sovereign Hawaiian entity of our choosing and will be off-limits to all United States governmental agents and activity unless expressly invited by the residents of the area.

Along the coastline of this ahupua’a is the area known as Makena. A coastal community, made up of happy families who are focused on conscious birth & parenting, will have their domains here. There will be a large educational center in the middle of this area which will be one of the world’s top centers for the preparation of conscious conception, pregnancy, birth and parenting. There will also be an ecstatic birth center at the end of the coastal road in the area commonly referred to as “La Perouse” (ancient Hawaiian name is Keoneo’io). Residents (and perhaps visitors) of the community who do not have oceanfront parcels but who wish to birth their babies in the crystalline ocean waters of Makena can do so here.  There will be a top-of-line waterbirth training facility here.

Makena Road will be closed to all common traffic (deliveries only) and residents/tourists will travel through the area on horseback, bicycles, canoes or kayaks. There will be many beautiful, scenic,,bike trails, horse trails and hiking trails throughout the Honua’ula district.

The ocean surrounding the area and between Maui, Kaho’olawe and Molokini will be off-limits to all US governmental activity, including military ships, planes, bombs, submarines and other war games/equipment. Motor boats will be strictly prohibited in these waters in order to protect the aquatic wildlife and especially whales during breeding season.

Whales, dolphins, sea turtles and more abound in the waters and will provide joy, company and support to the birthing families who take up residence here. It will be customary for residents of the area to swim with these aquatic beings, and to birth their babies in the presence of these magnificent creatures. All beings that reside in this area will be delightfully moving toward becoming one big, happy, inter-species family, all swimming together in love.

The Makena area will be home to one of the world’s largest wild animal protection habitats, and will provide sanctuary to abused, neglected, injured or other animals that need special care. Thousands of well-fed, well-loved, well-cared for, cats, dogs, horses, birds, deer, and other land, air, and sea creatures that reside in this territory will flourish and live harmoniously with the human families. Hunting for sport will be strictly prohibited and will become unthinkable in the very near future.

Please see my photo albums for visual images of this magnificent place. Here are the links:

Keoneo’io – future birth sanctuary…

Makena, Maui – Home of a Future Kin Domains Settlement

Feel free to write to me at if you would like to be part of this vision.


April Bevin’s Orgasmic Birth Story


 My Orgasmic, Pain-Free Labour

Written 19 January 2009, by April Bevin

(1 year, 4 days after the birth)



When people talk to me about childbirth, I am uncomfortable.

I am almost embarrassed.

They talk to me in understanding tones about suffering, hardship, pain, and wishing it wasn’t necessary for the end result. They are forever saying with empathy, “at least there’s a great reward at the end”. And it’s not even just those who are also mothers, those who have been through the pain of their own labour/s. There are the younger girlfriends expressing horror and fear at the thought of one day enduring childbirth, and the men – the men, expressing pity, relief, and admiration.

And yes, there is a great reward at the end of labour. But in the meantime, as we fear childbirth, offer sympathy to expectant mothers, and embrace the notion of it as inherently dangerous, and the drugs and interventions that go along with that view, are we missing out on one of the most incredible experiences available to women?

As women, do we know what we may be missing out on by accepting these stories of childbirth as ‘reality’, and handing our births over to obstetricians as a medical condition that needs to be ‘handled’?

As a society, are we denying women the freedom, joy, delight and empowerment that labour and childbirth naturally offer?

But what kind of labour would it need to be in order to offer women this experience?
One that occurs easily, naturally, and without pain…?



In his book ‘Childbirth Without Fear’, first published in 1942, physician Grantly Dick Read explores why it is that for some women, childbirth is the most horrifically painful experience imaginable, whilst for others it is incredibly ecstatic and completely pain-free. Sadly, in our Western society today, we are far more exposed to the former experience – Hollywood is forever perpetuating ‘birth fright’, and almost anyone you ask will tell you birth is inherently painful and dangerous. Birth is, in fact, inherently safe, and is to be trusted rather than interrupted (but that is a topic for another post…).

What I intend to do is make the latter experience more widespread and known; women need to know that a pain-free birth is available, naturally and easily. In fact, it is suprisingly simple.

There are three muscle groups in the uterus, two of which concern us in this discussion.
One is the vertical muscles (bear with me, I do not know anatomic terminology), and the other the circular muscles (they go around the uterus).  When a woman goes into spontaneous labour, the vertical muscles naturally contract to push the baby out; the other muscles are designed to stay relaxed during labour.

However, should a woman be fearful of birth (let’s face it, completely understandable given the images and preconceptions she is faced with), her first contraction often initiates the body’s ‘fight or flight’ reflex.  This reflex drains all blood and therefore oxygen from any part of the body deemed unnecessary for either fight or flight, and all the blood is delivered to ‘necessary’ parts of the body such as the limbs. One of the ‘unnecessary’ parts is the uterus; many women are actually trying to labour with an oxygen-deprived uterus! Talk about hard work.

Another function of this reflex is that the circular muscles of the uterus – designed to stay lax during labour – begin to contract. Now your uterus is contracting against itself, and *this* is the cause of the labour pain experienced by most women; this causes labour to be painful, and much more drawn-out than necessary.

What Read invites us to do is not to anticipate pain – rather, to anticipate *new sensations*. Unlike anything we have felt or experienced before, yes. Unavoidably painful? Not necessarily.
Imagine a preganant woman living on a deserted island, alone apart from the man who is obviously necessary. She spontaneously goes into labour; she experiences the same type of physical feeling any woman would feel at the beginning of labour, but due to having no external influence (media, other mothers, etc), she is not expecting any pain. And so, she experiences all these new sensations within her body – undoubtedly these include a degree of discomfort as a small body exits her own! – but no pain.
Now imagine this same woman, but now in our society, bombarded by horrific birthing scenes in movies such as ‘Knocked Up’, where the labouring woman is screaming for drugs, blaming the man, hating it all. In this environment, with these expectations of a painful labour, when she now experiences the initial sensations of labour, the birth fright kicks in, initiates fight or flight, and we’re away…
Every woman may start out with these basic feelings, but it is how we take these on within ourselves that then directs the path of our labour – either painful, or not.
I want to make a point here that there is nothing right or wrong with either way; the purpose of my writing all this is to spread awareness to women that loving your labour IS possible; that it could very possibly be the most euphoric experience of your life, if you so choose.

When I understood this basic concept put forward by Read, I was very excited. My only apprehension was this: what if, even knowing this, I still get scared, and ‘accidentally’ initiate the fight or flight reflex?
That, I guess, is something for each woman to handle her own way; for me it was prayer, and consciously, completely letting it go – over and over and over again in the weeks leading up to birth. Once the birth began, I actually didn’t think about it at all; there was not even a space for fear to exist. All I felt was complete trust, and the space for pain-free, naturally-occuring childbirth opened up…

And with my uterus allowed to function in the way it is truly designed to, without it interrupting and working against itself, labour progressed extremely quickly, indeed.
Beforehand, I was told to prepare; that first labours averaged 12 hours – some women I know have laboured for more than 24… I cannot even imagine how tiring this must be, and commend you!
My first labour was over in 2 hours, 20 minutes — and that includes 1 hour+ of *holding in* the baby in hopes Pete would make it in time (his work is far from both home and hospital).
Had he been home, labour would have been approx 1 hour, 5 minutes.

This may sound like a dream – having such a quick labour. I admit I am grateful to not go through extensive exhausting hours of labouring. And yet I hope, somehow, my future labours will last a little longer, so that I may have more time to enjoy them.

III. Orgasmic Birth

I did not hear of orgasmic birth until after I had already given birth, when I came across this site:
As yet I have not viewed the movie, just the trailer available on the website. But it resonated with me as soon as I discovered it; you see, I did not experience pain in labour, though neither did I experience orgasm in the first and second stages of labour. However, after choosing not to have the syntocinon injection routinely given post-birth (known as third stage) to stimulate the ejection of the placenta from the uterus (something the body is naturally designed to do on it’s own, without the need for any injection), the placenta came out in it’s own time… and when it did – woOoAaoaoooOOoohhhhhh! (insert ecstatic, highly orgasmic groan of pleasure *here*.)

Yes, I had a naturally pain-free, speedy, easy, EUPHORIC delivery – and to top it off, an absolutely indescribable out-of-this-world orgasm!

Will we be having more children? Yes, please!

Carl Calleman on Jose Arguelles Dreamspell Count

How and why was Argüelles Dreamspell calendar invented? by Carl Johan Calleman The question of how and why José and Lloydine Argüelles invented the Dreamspell calendar, rather than using the one used by the Maya for thousands of years, is long-standing. It however comes in a somewhat new light in the biography of José, written by Stephanie South, and also the response to this by his ex-wife Miriam Tarcov. I would, from another perspective than her, here like to point out that what has been revealed may have had very significant consequences also for people at large, some of whom had been hoping for José to provide them with guidance about the Mayan calendar. It should be said that José Argüelles understood early on, and certainly before almost all others including myself, that the Mayan calendar is a critical source of knowledge for humanity in our own time. In the years 1986-87 he hence played a very significant seminal role through writing the Mayan Factor and promoting the Harmonic Convergence. Yet, although the Harmonic Convergence had been based on the true Mayan calendar (1 Imix and 2 Ik in this count given to him by Tony Shearer) José Argüelles later decided to change this to the Dreamspell calendar for reasons that have never been clarified and it seems that it is only now that we can clearly put together the puzzle that explains this. Hence, I have earlier suggested that the Dreamspell “Mayan” calendar in fact is designed so as to give the birthdays of José and Lloydine exactly the “master numbers” 11 and 22 in the tzolkin ( Large numbers of people, mostly under the illusion that they are using the true Mayan calendar, have then in fact unknowingly given their energy to the “masters” who designed it. Moreover, the kin numbers of everyone using this calendar are then defined by their relationships to the “masters” on whose kin numbers it was based. This scheme seems optimal for creating a cult of its inventors, something that the energies of the true cosmic Mayan calendar would never have allowed. I see no reason to doubt that such a scheme is the origin of their calendar since neither José nor Lloydine have cared to provide an alternative explanation and naturally it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so. It is possible that only José knows how the Dreamspell tzolkin actually was designed, but also the new biography ignores the topic of why a new “Mayan” calendar was invented as a replacement for its true cosmic form. At one point in the biography we are however given a hint to the explanation of the design of the Dreamspell calendar through a dream that José Argüelles relates: “when the Eastern Sun meets the Western Sun at the 33rd degree”. Curiously, even if this dream is presented as significant the actual meaning of the number 33 to José is never explained and remains hidden. It is however not very farfetched to assume that it was this attraction to the number 33 that led him to invent the Dreamspell calendar in such a way as to give himself and Lloydine the kin numbers 11 and 22, since, as we know, 11 + 22 = 33. This may have lasted until 33-year old Stephanie South came along and gave a new meaning to the dream of the man who wrote the Mayan Factor after having studied the Maya for 33 years and obviously was attracted to this master number. Is there then any reason to believe that the Dreamspell calendar is something other than just a personal calendar of José Argüelles? Well, it certainly does not seem so, given the predominance of the number 33 in Argüelles’ personal mythology (which incidentally is the highest degree in freemasonry) and the power he associates with his own kin number in other writings: “Again, here the sign of the return of the heavenly city Tollan, and over here the sign of the Star Traveler, the avatar – this time with signs of the Spectral Monkey, kin 11 and kin 22, which as we all know add up to 33. This is meditation 26 and we are entering the 33rd Harmony. Everything really is that psychedelic that we could be here explaining this to you, and that we are the numbers that talk and you are the numbers that listen, and we are all numbers together.” or “Trungpa Rinpoche [Argüelles Buddhist Teacher] was the eleventh Trungpa. Pacal Votan was the eleventh ruler of the dynasty of Nah Chan. The Avatar Spectral Monkey [José Argüelles] is the third eleven to make the 33. The Mystery is to understand the 33. Today we are in the 33rd Harmonic. You won’t understand this mystery if you can’t get rid of your ego. This is profound. This is the meaning of mystery.” Based on these passages who can doubt that Argüelles transformed the Mayan calendar into the Dreamspell count to fit his personal mythology? By itself, I see nothing wrong with creating such a personal mythology in calendar form and to different degrees we all have personal mythologies and even personal timelines. What seems profoundly wrong however is when other people, in this case sincere and innocent seekers of the Mayan calendar, without their own knowing are pulled into such a mythology. Considering Miriam Tarcov’s posting above we probably should not be surprised either that Argüelles considers it “psychedelic” that kin 11 and 22 talk while the other kin listen. While such a suggestion to an outsider sounds fairly absurd it is in most cases probably not what the seeker of the Mayan calendar originally had signed up for either. In my view the negative result of this hidden agenda of the Dreamspell calendar is that thousands of people have been cheated on their access to the true Mayan calendar, which is a key factor for everyone wanting to approach the future in a purposeful way. The Dreamspell scheme has even left many in the dark about the very existence of a true Mayan calendar. Hence, in the name of consumer rights, is it not time that the inventors of the Dreamspell calendar, as well as anyone teaching it, should be obliged to clearly explain why the original Mayan calendar, which after all the Harmonic Convergence had been based on, was changed? Could there ever be peace between the counts unless there is complete transparency as to their origin? Carl Johan Calleman

Barbara Harper’s Ecstatic-Orgasmic Birth Story

Barbara Harper, well known for her amazing work with waterbirth and her book, “Gentle Birth Choices,” gave a candid interview in 2005 with Danielle Harel, while she was working on her PhD dissertation (2007) “Sexual Experiences of Women During Childbirth.”  The original interview was done when Barbara was 54 years old, single and the mother of three.  She was told that her story was confidential, but when she read it in an email that was sent out, she decided to go “public” and own her sexual experience with her second birth. She gave birth at home 25 years ago in 1984. The experience changed her life:

Here are some excerpts from the original interview:
It changed my life and I wouldn’t be doing the work that I am doing if I didn’t have this experience. Because I remember just a few minutes after he was born saying to my midwife “Oh my God, I have to tell women they can have orgasms during birth!” 

It was an incredible experience of oneness with my baby. It was a feeling of transcendence, a spiritual transcendence. My yoga guru used to say: “A woman that prepares and gives birth with consciousness experiences the same enlightenment as spending twenty years on the top of the mountain meditating.” You can experience oneness and transcendence with God. It is an incredibly spiritual experience. It is as if you have the ability to cross over to the other side and then come back and be completely in love with this angel being.

Sexual messages in childhood:

As a child I got the messages that sex is forbidden, dirty, hidden and not to be discussed. My mother deliberately went through art books and tore out all the famous paintings of naked women, yet my father kept Playboys under his side of the mattress.  Talk about mixed messages! I was probably around 16 or 17 when I experienced my first orgasm through masturbation. It just felt different. Like… oh!  But that was around the same time as having been raped by an older relative. Something that could never have been discussed or shared with my family. So, it was locked away in my psyche.

What was your conception like:
I had a conception orgasm. I knew that I was conceiving. I felt the moment of conception, and that was an incredible feeling, and I felt the communication of the spirit – everything. Had a vision of the baby talking to me at the same moment of conception. His conception orgasm was probably the most powerful orgasm in my life except the orgasm I had when he was born.

Childbirth preparation:

I believe my tantric practices influenced my second birth, one of the other things that influenced my second birth experience is rebirthing. I worked closely with, Binnie Dansby, a rebirther who was then from southern California. I worked closely with her from the beginning of my second trimester all the way to the end of my pregnancy. We would do rebirthing on the bed and in warm water rebirthing sessions. We used an isolation tank – it is a completely enclosed capsule that is filled with shallow water containing Epsom salts.  That was a way to be in touch or access your origins and feelings at surround your source experience – birth – bonding and all of those issues. It was a delightfully incredible experience.  I took the time to focus and concentrate. The focus was to get me into my body, to be physically present, to “feel” my feelings and experience them in my body. With that
pregnancy I was probably more body focused then anytime in my life. It brought me in touch with what I needed emotionally and mentally. It was more right brain work than I had ever previously done and as a result it gave me this emotional connection with my body and with my sexuality, not to mention this amazing being growing inside of me. I felt connected to the baby’s thoughts, especially when I was in the deprivation tank.  You float and completely relax and when the baby moves, your entire body moves in the water.  It is like the baby takes over your body.  Just amazing.

I wasn’t a midwife at the time, but had previously worked as a labor and delivery nurse and knew a lot.  I was working as a holistic nurse in a doctor’s office, but I decided to totally prepare for a waterbirth. I got on a plane and actually went to France to seek out the one doctor that I knew was doing waterbirth in Pithiviers, France.  I wanted to find Michel Odent2, and called the hospital once I got to Paris, only to find that he wasn’t there. He was on his first lecture trip to the US, and was actually in my home town of Santa Barbara, when I was in Pithiviers.  But I glad he was gone because it gave me a chance to observe the midwives and experience natural birth first hand.  I’ll always remember the first woman that I witnessed have a completely natural birth standing up over a sheet spread on the floor.  The look on that young woman’s face as her eyes met her baby’s eyes for the first time is etched in my brain forever. I stayed there for a week and took childbirth classes both in Pithiviers and Lelila, outside of Paris. I was directed to the hospital where Fredrick Leboyer3 had worked and met with the midwives and a wonderful woman who taught childbirth classes there. I was able to meet with Leboyer for a quick interview. In both places I was shown a large round blue built-in bath in the labor ward, in which hundreds of women had already given birth. I was on a mission to find out the most I could about water labor and waterbirth. I was already about six months pregnant and was fortunate to stay in France for a couple of weeks and soak up this environment and knowledge. I had a very young man who was my driver and translator and when we parted at the airport on my way home, he confiding in me that his mother was going to be very proud of him. When I inquired why, he said, “because after attending all those childbirth classes with you and translating, I now have a different view of women and would never think of having sex before I was married!!”  I laughed and got on my plane to return to Santa Barbara and prepare for a waterbirth. 

The birth story:

I had planned a home birth, and I had planned for a lot of people to be there, all together there were supposed to be twelve people. My massage therapist, a harpist with a big concert harp playing live music, my acupuncturist in case I needed pain management, my housekeeper, my cook, my best friend, my rebirther, my partner, of course, and I can’t remember who everyone else was.  I had constructed my own pool with Binnie’s help, and put it together at the end of my bed. It was a lovely house with a big bay window in the bedroom overlooking the garden.  When the contractions began I was on my hands and knees planting an herb garden with my friend, Michael.  I was very happy that I was having contractions, and I was very comfortable. Being on my hands and knees felt sexy to me, it just felt wow… my lower chakra was kind of buzzing. I went in to take a shower in the late afternoon after about two hours of mild contractions.  I remember standing with the warm water flowing down on me, pulling on my nipples and stimulating myself to the point of having an orgasm. I kept thinking ‘It can’t hurt,’ feeling really good about it and the contractions were really strong right after that orgasm. I repeated that in the shower another time and then laid on the bed and did it again, kind of experimenting to see how it affected the intensity of my contractions. I started calling people just to let them know that I was in labor, but didn’t reach one single person, so I got in the car and went to the grocery store, thinking that I had to feed all those guests.  I also stopped at the florist and ordered about $900 worth of floral bouquets and live plants to be delivered.  I remember wanting flowers in every room in the house.  While I was in the grocery store, the contractions got very intense and I remember leaning over the cart and breathing through them. The cashier at that store was worried because I could not carry on a conversation without stopping to breathe.  She wanted to call an ambulance and I told her proudly that I was going home to have a waterbirth.  She at least got someone to carry out my groceries!!  When I got home I tried calling people, again, and still couldn’t find any one. So I left messages on answering machines. I tried paging my midwife and even she didn’t answer. I didn’t panic; I was ready to do this birth by myself if I had to. My partner finally came home, and he got excited and we filled the tub and we got in bed and made love while I was in labor. I just had him doing clitoral stimulation, and he loved to suck on my nipples, and I had orgasm after orgasm. I was so happy that nobody was around; otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. Then it got really intense and I was walking around, but never, not even once did I not enjoy the power and the intensity of it and to me it all felt very sexual. My belly and my groin were lit up, on fire, I was always touching myself, enjoying the juices that were coming out of me. I got back in the shower and I was chanting, “opppen” and “OM” when my midwife finally arrived. She asked me to get on the bed and she checked me. I was eight centimeters. I asked her if I could get in the pool and she said “Use your own judgment,” so I got in. The minute I got in, the minute I sank into the water, it was as if a super charged lightening bolt went through me. I experienced some very intense – perhaps five to six contractions. I turned to my midwife and said that my body was pushing, and she couldn’t believe me since I was just eight a few minutes ago.  But my body was vibrating and I was OMMMING loudly.  She then asked me to come out so she could check me again and when I stood up I had another contraction and said “No.. no.. no I am getting back in the water, I can’t get out.” My partner got behind me and very soon after that I vocalized while my body was pushing. Oming… I was making sounds as if I was being made love to… really letting that sound out enjoying every single movement… I could feel the micromovement of his head right through me, I could feel everything intensely. As he was coming through me, there was this incredible orgasmic tantric relief, and my body just went with it, I shuddered from head to toe. When I have an orgasm my toes always curl up and the soles of my feet burn with heat and I remember my toes curling at the bottom of the birthing pool. It was as if every fiber of my being was having an orgasm and then suddenly the midwife lifted him right up onto my chest. He didn’t cry, but simply breathed in the dark quiet candle-lit room.

I got out of the tub, leaving my son with his father cradling him in the water, and got into the bed to check for tears.  All of a sudden I heard a dripping sound …and in few minutes the whole tub collapsed… 300 gallons of water on the bedroom floor, blood clots, placenta and more, all over. I was high from the birth and I didn’t care… “It will get cleaned up.” They put him back on my chest naked and he stayed there just like that for two days. It was amazing.


When I think about the birth I feel pure and absolute joy, remarkable, wonderful happiness. I still feel the fire in my belly, just a warm sensation. It is not an orgasm. When I tell my birth story I can feel myself relaxing, it just feels pleasant in my body.
I wasn’t prepared for this kind of sexual experience, my rebirthing coach talked a lot about moving from pain to pleasure. She worked with me about experiencing pleasure but never put it in sexual or orgasmic terms. Binnie always talked about choosing… that we can choose in every moment to experience pain or pleasure, and I was choosing pleasure. It changed me in the sense that I felt very powerful afterwards and I felt empowered to be his mother. I fell in love with him
so completely, so amazingly, I would do anything to protect him and take care of him. Now that I know what I know about these powerful love hormones… if I am having the most powerful orgasm of my life I am soaked with oxytocin and betaendorphins. I was changed enormously. I tell everybody that my 22 year old son and I have never had one single argument between us. I look at the picture of him and my chest just expands, and it started with his birth.





What do you think allowed this experience to happen?

I had prepared myself physically, spiritually and mentally for a pleasurable experience in labor. I was surprised by the intensity of orgasm at birth but welcomed it at the same time.

In what way did it feel sexual or orgasmic?

In every way! It was a total body-mind-spirit. With my first birth I left my body. It was so incredibly painful and so humiliating I felt that I was raped. As I mentioned, I was raped when I was 17, so I knew how it feels to be raped and the feelings of humiliation and discomfort that go along with that –the powerlessness. My first birth was in the hospital; I was tied to the bed and couldn’t move or protect myself. It was so incredibly emotionally painful that I left my body. I remember having the feeling of sitting on top of the curtain rod on the window and watching them cut the episiotomy and force drugs into the IV and tighten the wrist restraints.  Therefore, when I was working with rebirthing Binnie helped me be aware of when I was “leaving” my body and she worked with me on staying in my body and feeling the feelings no matter how scary or painful or conversely, pleasurable.  So much was tied into my personal sexuality of a mixture of pain and pleasure of love and rejection of being pleasing or being pleased.  During that birth and even now, my mantra is: “My body is safe no matter how much energy moves through it.” I remember this mantra and I have used it with hundreds of women. It really helped me move into experiencing pleasure.
How does this experience compare to masturbation or partner sex?

It is completely different – a hundred times more intense. I would say it is a similar body feeling and mind exploding, being able to open your chest and expand, all of that – hundred times more intense then orgasm through either masturbation, penetration or Tantra. It was an explosion from every fiber of my being. I was surprised by the intensity. When my sexuality arose I accepted it as a benefit and a reward for doing homework and being clear that my body had the incredible ability of doing this. I used a lot of imagery in my head. I used the candle imagery and the flower imagery, but not so much sexual imagery. Flowers tend to represent sexual imagery for me – a yoni opening – the tender blossoming of the petals of the rose. That is one reason I stopped at the florist to have roses and beautiful flowers all around me.

Did you share it with someone?

I tried to explain it to people 20 years ago and I had people say that I was doing a disservice to women. I was ridiculed and yelled at so I stopped talking about it… and I realized too that you really have to prepare your mind to have an orgasmic, ecstatic birth. You have to be in a place of being able to transcend and move from pain to pleasure. I have written things about it, but I stopped yelling it from the roof top and realized that we have so much work to do… that is why I rolled up my sleeves and began this work.

Did you experience pain?

I never felt pain. The sexual stimulation, making love in labor, and stimulating myself with my fingers and with my husband’s tongue opened me more. It just added to the pleasure and I never felt pain.

Did you feel sexual during breastfeeding?

Well, that is a topic that is not talked about much.
I found nursing in general very pleasurable, not exactly arousing but pleasant enough to know that it was juicy.

How did your sexuality compare before and after childbirth?

I feel like for a little while it was harder for me to have an orgasm, just for a little while, and maybe it was my mothering hormones that took over. I would say it was almost the same for me; because our sex life was always very open and passionate. We still had amazing sex.
My sexuality is very much connected to my body image; I remember an intentional thought that I had around 1992-3 that if I get fat I won’t have to deal with my sexuality. My body image was very much wrapped around my sexuality. I was a child of the sixties, before AIDS came into play, so there was a lot of experimentation. At some point I made the intention that I didn’t want to be in relationship and I just drew a line and said that was enough, and my body changed and I allowed myself to gain a lot of weight and get out of shape, so in my mind if I wasn’t appealing, looking sexy I wouldn’t have to think about my sexuality.

How did you feel about yourself as a woman after the sexual birth?

I did not stay with that partner.  We had another child two years after that, but the relationship was fraught with so much angst and difficulty that it was impossible to stay together. I made the conscious choice to be celibate after parting from him in 1989.  And now, even though I have not had sex for 15 years, I love my body. I love the feelings in my body and I test it out every now and then with masturbation.  Love my hand held shower!! I can still get orgasms from kissing – there was this one very attractive seat partner on a long overseas flight – it still works! I know it works, so I am not worried at all about that.  And when I am blessed to have the love of my life find me, I know that I will be very grateful, excited and very gifted in that department.  I will enjoy my sexuality to its fullest. Sexuality is more about how you think and how you respond than what you actually do to physically produce an orgasm. I live an ecstatic life and expect an ecstatic partnership some day.  I have spent these past 15 years growing and learning about who I am and what it all means to be a woman without limitations and my birth experiences helped mold me into the woman that I have become.

Please help me win $10,000 by voting for my idea

Aloha friends and family.  I am writing today to enlist your support.  I have submitted an idea to that could help bring my conscious conception, pregnancy, birth & parenting program into reality.  I have decided to create an event (a BABY! film festival on Maui) that will help raise funds for the creation of a school for young adults.  You can help bring this event (and a conscious birth preparation school) into reality by voting for my idea.


To view my idea (which is listed in the education section) and vote for it, please go to:


Time is of the essence.  Please vote for my idea this week.  I would like to win the “sprint” for this week as that will put me in good placement to win the $10,000 this month.  You will need to register at the website and then vote for my idea.  This will take just a few minutes of your time.


If you would like to see the curriculum I have created for the future school, please visit this link:



If you would like more info about the school, please visit my facebook pages: 


Love, Sex, Pregnancy, Birth & Parenting:  Free/Low Cost Info & Support for Maui Youth


Let’s Create an Ecstatic Birth School and Center on Maui



Thank you so much for taking the time to support my idea.


Sending blessings and gratitude,